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Chitika

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

If You Cross the Border Illegally | What Happens

If you cross the border illegally


If you cross the   "The North Korean"  border illegally,  you get ..... 12 years hard labour in an isolated prison.....

If you cross the  "Iranian"   border illegally,  you get ..... detained indefinitely .....

If you cross the "Afghan"   border illegally, you get.....shot.....

If you cross the "Saudi Arabian" border illegally,  you get ..... jailed.....

If you cross the   "Chinese"   border illegally,  you get .....kidnapped and may be never heard of - again .....

If you cross the   "Venezuelan"   border illegally,  you get ..... branded as a spy and your fate sealed .....

If you cross the "Cuban" border illegally,  you get.....thrown into a political prison to rot .....

If you cross the "British"  border illegally,  you get.....arrested, prosecuted, sent to prison and be deported after serving your sentence .....
Now.....if you were to cross the  "Indian"  border illegally, you get .....

1.   A ration card
2.   A passport  (even more than one - if you please  ! )
3.   A driver's license
4.   A voter identity card
5.   Credit cards
6.   A Haj subsidy
7.   Job reservation
8.   Special privilages for minorities
9.   Government housing on subsidized rent
10. Loan to buy a house
11. Free education
12. Free health care
13. A lobbyist in New Delhi, with a bunch of media morons and a bigger bunch of human rights activists promoting your  "cause"
14. The right to talk about secularism, which you have not heard about in your own country  !
15. And of-course .....voting rights to elect corrupt politicians who will promote your community for their selfish interest in securing your votes  !!!


 Hats off.....to the .....

A.   Corrupt and communal Indian politicians

B.   The inefficient and corrupt Indian police force

C.   The silly pseudo-secularists in India , who promote traitors staying here

D.   The amazingly lenient Indian courts and legal system

E.   The selfish Indian citizens, who are not bothered about the dangers to their own country

F.  The illogically brainless human-rights activists, who think that terrorists deserve to be dealt with by archaic laws meant for an era, when human beings were human beings. 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Learnings From the Life Of Warren Buffet | World`s Second Richest Man



This was all compiled from a one hour interview of Warren Buffet on CNBC

1) He Bought his first share at the age of 11 and he now regrets that he started too late.
   Things were very cheap at that time. So promote everyone to invest

2) He still lives in the small 3 Bedroom house in Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. he says that he has everything he needs in the house and it has no fencing around.
  Dont buy more than what you "really need"

3) He does not have a driver and drives his car himself
   You are what you are

4) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the worlds largest private jet company.
  Always think how you can accomplish things easily.

5) His company Berkshire Hathaways owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to his CEOs, giving them the goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls on a regular basis.
 Assign the right people to the right job

6) He has given two rules to his CEOs
  Rule 1- Never loose your shareholder`s money
  Rule 2- Do not forget rule 1
    Make goals and make sure that people focus on them

And last the best one-

7) His  advice to the youth
    Stay away from credit cards(bank loans) and invest in yourself.
    a) Money doesnt create man but it is the man who created money
    b) Live your life as simple as you are
    c) Do not do what others say. Just listen to them and do whatever you like
    d) Dont go on brand name. Wear those things in which you are comfortable
    e) After all its your life and why give others a chance to rule it..

The HAPPIEST people do NOT necessarily have the BEST THINGS..
They simply APPRECIATE the things they have..
let us choose a smarter and simple way to live..

Monday, January 3, 2011

True Story Behind Emptiness Song | Was The Guy Named Rohan Rathore Really There?



















This Post Received 6000+ Pageviews.

So Its been moved to my new blog

True Story Behind Rohan Rathore | Was the Guy Named rohan Rathore Reallt There?

( Blog managed by www.activegossip.com )

Saturday, January 1, 2011

What Is Self Appraisal | Nice Story


                                              

 A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a  store and dialed a number.
The store-owner observed and listened to the  conversation: 
 
Boy                : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? 
Woman         : (at the other end of the phone line) "I  already have someone to cut my lawn." 
Boy                : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than
 the person who cuts your lawn now." 
Woman         : I'm very satisfied with the person who is  presently cutting my lawn. 
Boy                : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the floor  and the stairs of your house for free.
Woman         : No, thank you. 
 
 With a smile on his face, the little  boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this,  walked over to the boy. 


Store Owner       : "Son... I like  your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a  job." 
Boy                      : "No thanks, 
Store Owner       :  But you were really pleading for one.
Boy                      : No Sir, I was just  checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is  working for that lady I was talking to!"  
This is called  "Self  Appraisal"

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Management and the CRAP Program | Really Funny And Humorous Letter

Subject: Management and the CRAP Program
Dear Staff,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the worldwide slowdown of
economies, since the being of 2008, Management has decided to implement a
scheme to put workers of 30 plus years of age on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retiring Appropriate People Early).
People selected for RAPE can also apply to management for eligibility in
SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). People who have been
RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Systematic
Coursing Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice
and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

People who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependents or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance). Obviously people who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or
SCREWED any further by management.

People staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity
Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of
SHIT it gives to its employees. Should you feel that you do not receive
enough SHIT, please apply for CRAP (Corporate Rescue - Advanced Program).

Our Management has been trained to give you all the CRAP you may require to
excel.

Yours Sincerely,
The Management

Bye and have a nice time'